The Trees are Greener
by The Carnivorous Muffin
Summary: After his attempt to resurrect the deceased hokages, messing with time, space, as well as death itself, Eru Lee's Konoha finds itself cast into Uzumaki Naruto's Konoha. After disposing and making an example of Orochimaru, the various casts eye themselves and briefly explore the overwhelming differences between both worlds. Side fic to "Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds"
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: The usual warning that this is a side fic of "Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds" and if you haven't read that you'll be very confused as well as THIS IS NOT CANON.**

* * *

"Right, well," Minato paused, looking out the tower window towards the Konoha that he, Lee, and well, all of Konoha, had been unwillingly pulled into during the chunin exams. No, not just any chunin exams, Naruto's chunin exams, because of course this would happen during Naruto's first run through the chunin exams, she was Lee's daughter after all and a part of the infamous team seven.

She was genetically destined to have bizarre and terrible things happen to her, like that bridge mission in Wave which had gone suddenly and so drastically south, thank god for Obito being their sensei, if something had happened to her then Minato couldn't insure that Wave would still be standing.

That stubborn civilian bastard Tazuna had no idea just how goddamn lucky he was.

Minato paused, sighed, tried not to adjust his hat as he looked at his similarly clothed predecessor, who seemed to have replaced this reality's version of Minato after some debacle with the nine tails twelve years earlier, "I am terribly sorry that we seem to have… invaded while you were already suffering an invasion."

The sandaime hokage looked anything but amused by that statement, then again, if Minato were in his position he doubted he would have been either. It seemed that in a world without Lee's clones and without Lee's threats to hunt him down and gut him if he strayed out of line, Orochimaru had become a missing nin, and then a kage in his own right who had, with Konoha in perhaps the weakest state it had ever been (Minato, Sakumo, Tobirama, Hashirama, Obito, Tsunade, Orochimaru, and Lee herself all dead, rogue, or missing entirely), chosen to invade the village with an economically desperate Sand during the chunin exams.

By luck, or rather, Orochimaru screwing around with forces far beyond his comprehension and summoning the souls of the resurrected shodaime and nidaime hokages as well as Minato himself, he'd happened to pull all of Minato's own reality along for the ride.

As such, the Sound and Sand invasion was halted in its tracks, Orochimaru made an example of by Lee to parade around to their own horrified version of Orochimaru, and now Minato and this alternate sandaime (whose past decade had not appeared to be kind to him) now sat in an office trying to figure out what the hell to do now.

It was times like these that Minato didn't wonder if Lee shouldn't have been hokage, she would have handled this fabulously, was handling this fabulously, last he'd seen her she was terrorizing this parallel universe's version of Kakashi (who still read Jiraiya-sensei's porn in public but had apparently decided to go masked for reasons that no one could quite explain to Minato. Minato's Kakashi, in reaction, had decided to go masked as well to protect the alternate Kakashi's secret identity… Sometimes, there were no words when it came to that man.)

As it was he had no doubt it'd be Lee who would be pulling them out of this mess when the time came. Then again, maybe that was why Minato wore the hat, because he could recognize the time and place for a Leeified solution.

Minato sighed again and offered the sandaime a polite smile, "Suffice to say, that we will be attempting to get this sorted out shortly."

The sandaime snorted, no doubt questioning the ease with which Minato announced this, or still in shock over the youthful resurrected Senju Hashirama and Tobirama, Tobirama who was even now berating Lee and shouting that he just knew she was somehow responsible for this madness, even with two Konoha worth of shinobi watching this.

"You'd be surprised the sort of trouble we can get into and out of," Minato said instead, pleasantly, hoping this would be enough for now, and hoping to god they managed to fix this before it could get any worse.

Or, he thought, his eyes drifting out the window towards where he could see Lee and the nidaime bickering their way down the street, before anyone could start getting any ideas.

* * *

"So, Kakashi…" Obito started lamely, before sighing, rubbing the back of his head, and wishing this wasn't quite so awkward. The other Kakashi was… almost like Bakashi, there were alarming similarities but there were a few even more alarming differences. There seemed to be something terribly broken in this other Hatake Kakashi, and when Obito noted the absence of another Obito, another Rin, another Minato-sensei, another Lee, and another Hatake Sakumo. Well, he began to piece it together.

And he kind of wished he hadn't.

He winced, looked away, this new Kakashi kept staring at him in horrified guilt and wonder in equal measure, constantly looking like he was about to say something (for all that he could have an expression under that mask) but then not saying anything at all. Eventually, Obito's eyes settled on the blonde, the boy with the whiskers on his face who was staring across critically with an idiot's speculation at Namikaze Naruto and her teammates, duplicates of his own Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura.

Well, Sakura looked more or less the same (both versions sizing up and drooling over the other's Sasuke), but Sasuke looked quite different from the other Sasuke. Something in his eyes, in the other Sasuke's eyes, was brittle, far more brittle even then the contempt and rage Sasuke always looked at Obito with, the traitor to the clan.

No, the other Sasuke didn't just hate Obito, in fact, the other Sasuke was looking at him and every other family member he past in a strange haunted sort of longing. No, the other Sasuke hated everything else.

"Uzumaki Naruto, you said?" Obito finally asked, his eyes settling on the other blonde, and the other Kakashi blinked.

"Maa," he said, an almost Obito-esque tone to his word before he said quietly, "Yes, Uzumaki."

He looked just like Uzumaki Kushina, sounded like her too, but then, he also looked just like Minato-sensei, or at least, had his coloring. It was just… looking across from him to Obito's Naruto, you could see the similarities, the shared father, though both resembled their mother just a bit more, but picturing Minato-sensei with Uzumaki Kushina…

"I can't believe he married Kushina," Obito finally said, tilting his head and looking at the kid, trying to picture how that would even work.

Sure, Minato-sensei and the red habanero were sort of friends, but they really fell more into the frenemy category and, as far as Obito understood it, always had. From the very beginning those two had constantly insulted and only grudgingly respected the other. However, maybe in a world without Lee immigrating to Konoha, the world this seemed to be, then Kushina would be the ideal choice.

Still, with memories of Minato-sensei and Uzumaki drunkenly arguing in drinking contests over sake as jonins with Uchiha Mikoto and Lee-shishou having to break up the fights, Obito just couldn't see it happening.

Kakashi's eyes, well, eye, comically widened at this, as if Obito had just blurted some dark secret no one in the world was to know (which, Kakashi, his Naruto looked just like Uzumaki, how the hell was that supposed to be a secret?)

To distract him from this Obito casually motioned to his own Naruto, now raising her eyebrows dubiously as Uzumaki Naurto turned into a very attractive naked woman with breasts that could not possibly work like that on any real woman, "Namikaze Naruto, Minato-sensei and Lee-shishou's daughter."

"Lee?"

"Eru Lee," Obito said, realizing, again, that Lee didn't appear to be in this Konoha, had never been in this Konoha, "Red curly hair, green eyes, pale skin… Harassed you earlier over pretending to be _batman_."

"Ah, that woman," Kakashi finally said, apparently having no appreciation for a Lee he didn't know, and instead reacting to her like… Well, anyone who had never met Lee before in their lives.

Also, a very strange and surreal experience, especially given that Kakashi, Obito's Kakashi, actively worshipped the ground his adopted sister walked upon and the chaos she left everywhere she went.

It had been clear, ever since Obito first met Kakashi, that his childhood had been hopelessly warped by his older sister.

"And Minato-sensei, your Minato… Didn't marry Kushina?" Apparently, from the other Kakashi's perspective, this was more dumbfounding and surreal than Minato and Lee not getting married.

It took all Obito could to not start laughing at the very idea of Minato-sensei and Uzumaki Kushina married and with… Apparently that little boy Naruto. As it was his lips twisted and he may have let out a slight snicker, "Uh, no, no he did not."

At that he just couldn't hold it in anymore, he laughed out loud, in hysterics, falling over himself, and eventually stood, "Sorry, but I… I have to go, that was just… Too much, sometimes you slay me Bakashi."

* * *

"So, your sensei isn't Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto, the blue-eyed boy, asked Naruto the teal-eyed girl. Sakura and Sakura apparently didn't like the idea of talking to one another, and Sasuke and Sasuke were both being stuck up stupid assholes as usual and stormed off in opposite directions, leaving just Naruto and the girl Naruto.

As for girl Naruto, she wasn't quite what Naruto would have pictured as a girl version of himself, she looked nothing like his sexy jutsu for example, but she was also pretty cool and probably the only person who even pretended to listen to anything he ever said.

Girl Naruto shook her head, eyes glancing towards Kakashi-sensei then back towards Naruto as if she really didn't know what to make of it, "No, dad didn't like the idea of Kakashi-nii with too much responsibility… or influence on children, it's also why Obito-sensei is first in line for the hat."

"No way, I'm gonna be the next hokage, believe it!" Naruto shouted only for the other Naruto to blink slightly then say with a shrug, "Well, that might be in your Konoha, but in ours it's pretty set to be Obito-nii. Kakashi-nii says it's karma for all those times when he was a genin shouting about becoming a hokage, dad apparently took it way too seriously."

Still, one thing was for sure, he couldn't imagine a world in which even a girl him wasn't reminding everyone that she was going to be the future hokage. If he didn't know better, then he'd think the other Naruto didn't want to be hokage at all, which was just ridiculous.

Then, with a grin, Naruto leaned forward, "Hey, you want to learn the sexy lady jutsu? It's really effective against all kinds of perverts, even the hokage!"

* * *

"Did she have to crucify him?" Orochimaru asked Jiraiya, Jiraiya however was trying to look anywhere else but at the dead Orochimaru hanging from a post, because if ANBU had taught Lee anything, it was apparently how to send a downright terrifying message.

One Orochimaru had received years ago, but apparently, still needed reminding of at the right opportunities.

"Well, Oro, don't invade Konoha and I think you'll be fine."

"How the hell, you idiot, would I invade Konoha when I'm a Konoha shinobi?!"

Jiraiya glanced up at the other Orochimaru, motioned towards him, "Well, I guess we should have asked him when we had the chance."

* * *

Inside a bar Obito found himself at a table with Lee, and a thought struck him, "Shishou, you don't think…"

"That reality is falling apart?" Lee finished for him, "Why yes, Obito, I believe I do think that."

"No, that their Obito, the other Obito… If he was on the Kannabi Bridge mission, and you never came to rescue him, and they all think he's dead, and Madara found him…" Obito trailed off, feeling that he didn't need to say the rest of what happened to him, or even this hypothetical other Obito, who clearly had not been brought back to Konoha by Lee, Sakumo, or Minato-sensei for that matter.

"Oh," Lee said, her eyes widening as she said his point, "Shit."

"Right," Obito echoed, feeling his stomach plummet, he stopped then, thought, "On a scale of one to ten, _shishou_ , if I was trying to turn reality into a giant genjutsu by capturing all of the tailed beasts with all of my plant zombie comrades… How successful, exactly, do you think I'd be?"

He didn't know if it should be flattering or horrifying that Lee almost immediately responded, "Frighteningly successful. It might take you five, six, twelve years, you have to topple a few villages, but if you put your mind to it…"

"Right," Obito responded.

They sat in silence for a moment, each taking a long drink, then in tandem stood and made their way to the hokage tower, it seemed that they wouldn't be getting out of Konoha any time soon at all.

* * *

 **Author's Note: A short look at Lee's Konoha blowing everyone's mind, requested by the 1800th reviewer of "Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds", Story-Telling Doll who asked for a variety of canon characters meeting a few Lee characters and noting the differences in Orochimaru's, Obito's Lee, as well as Lee and Minato's relationship. So we have this, which is short, but necessarily so without requiring an extensive plot or small series of vignettes.**

 **With that, thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto**


	2. Chapter 2

Let it be known that Obito and Lee were putting in a solid… Very solid effort to save a world that wasn't even their own. This effort had led them from an alternate universe's Konoha all the way into the heart of Lightning's mountain range and that horribly familiar cave that Obito had once been stitched back together by Madara in and then left in the dark to rot for months on end.

A cave, that, his brainwashed alternate-self had turned into an evil layer with all his traumatized shinobi buddies, Akatsuki as they apparently called themselves, a name that screamed something desperate and propagandist to anyone who would listen. Including but not limited to Jiraiya's old Ame students, Obito's younger cousin Itachi who had apparently snapped entirely and killed off this world's version of the Uchiha clan save for Uchiha Sasuke, that terrifying Jashinist convert Hidan that Lee ran into every now and then, Sasori of the red sand, and a missing kiri and rock nin that Obito was for better or worse unfamiliar with.

Oh yes, and himself, wearing an orange spiral mask covering all but his remaining eye, dancing around like a fool and speaking in a falsetto, referring to himself in third person as Tobi at varying intervals and making Obito hopelessly embarrassed by mere association.

And black and white Zetsu, standing together grinning that inhuman grin, must not forget about them either.

In other words, Obito was fairly certain he was in hell.

He and Lee were seated, polite as ever cross legged, served tea by a blank faced Itachi who looked like he'd seen better days once long ago but had forgotten what they looked like. Lee politely took the steaming cup with a smile as she concluded her lecture with, "So, as you can see, even when Madara explained all of this oh, years ago now, bringing all the bijuu together, casting the world under a giant genjutsu, and then enslaving us all to a vengeful rabbit goddess who will turn all of humanity into zombie plants seems a little… nonsensical."

The group was staring at her, after having tried and failed to beat her into submission after she'd charged into their layer, with varying degrees of disbelief held in their expressions, except of course for Obito's other half, who was still dancing around like a fool and drawing attention anywhere other than himself.

Namely, they were clearly expecting more than… this, but in a world without Lee, everyone was also unfamiliar with her methods. Epic shutdown and then tea time was something usually only Eru Lee would indulge in, S ranked among S ranked shinobi that she was.

"Ne, ne, Pein-sama, Tobi doesn't think the stranger has the right idea about all of this!"

What had Madara done to him? Obito wondered as he stared at this man, this man that so easily could have been him, if Lee had never come. Even as he danced and played he oozed a bitter hatred for the world that was almost choking in its intensity.

To hate the world so much that he would trade it for a cheap illusion…

"You think we'd believe you, Konoha nin?" Yahiko of Ame, no, sharp and bitter Pein, spat, seeming to ignore the fact that he had no choice but to listen, if only because Lee had chosen to allow them to leave, to choose tea over death.

"I think, that no matter your anger, surely you agree that enslaving mankind is not the answer," Lee said, with such patience, because she could kill all of them here and now. True, it would be a hard fight, true it might hurt, but they were not Madara himself, they were not Kaguya, and she and Obito would win.

That she chose not to…

Well, it spoke to quite a bit of who and what Lee truly was beneath the shinobi's mask she wore.

"Forget it, shishou," Obito said, looking contemptuously at Tobi, at what everything Obito could have been and should be condemned for, "I think they welcome their plant zombie overlords."

"He's you, Obito," Lee said though, softly, that look in her eyes that she'd given him as she'd pulled him out of Madara's cave all those years ago, "And for that alone, I think, he deserves a chance to try."

Without another word, standing and handing the tea cup back to the stunned Itachi who had forgotten what the idea of hope even tasted like, with a twitch of her fingers she reduced the statue deep in the heart of the cave to rubble, dying souls of Zetsu, of those fallen warriors in Kaguya's first assencion, pouring out and clinging to the walls.

At black Zetsu's great cry she lit him and his white brother on fire, unquenchable flames that left their comrades staring in horror as Lee, then Obito, walked out of the cave untouched, leaving chaos in their wake as they were cursed and hated by these hatful cursed wretched men and woman who had sold their souls for a wretched dream of peace.

And all Lee had to say, as she and Obito climbed over rocks and down the mountains, back towards Konoha, was, "Ugh, all of these alien invasions leave me hungry for ramen."

Obito could only smile, and note, "Shishou, everything leaves you hungry for ramen."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Note that the older Lee, tempered by war and death, is of the "Cake or Death" philosophy... But is very anti plant zombie. Written for the 1900th review of "Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds" by Lupa Lazuli who asked for a fic where Lee meets Akatsuki or Madara and drives them mad. We already had the Madara version back with "The Temptation of Desperate Men" and meeting Akatsuki seemed sequel worthy to "The Trees are Greener". So here we are.**

 **Thanks to readers and reviewers, reviews are much appreciated.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto**


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